Monday, January 11, 2010

It Can't Hurt To Ask

I've learned a lot the past few years about myself, my friends, and my relationships. One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that people are willing to go to great lengths to help a friend or a neighbor in need but they are often frightened of overstepping their bounds. I've also learned that not only is it ok to ask for help but it is a brave and noble thing to do. People respond well to directness. So here I am being direct.

On Friday, January 29th I'll be going back into the hospital for another round of surgery. Nothing too scary or traumatic (at least not when compared to what we've dealt with in the past) but still a major surgery none the less. I have a major abdominal hernia related to the previous surgeries I underwent immediately following the accident. In layman's terms, because they split me open from ribs to pelvis, my abdominal muscles are unanchored and coming loose. They will be reopening my abdomen to inset a piece of mesh to help keep my insides in. While in there they will be removing the pieces of Heterotopic_ossification that have formed in my abdominal cavity. This won't be your typical laparoscopic procedure most commonly used to repair hernias these days. I just have too much scar tissue and unknowns involved in my case to do this the "easy way". This will be a done using the old-fashioned open incision method.

They can't say exactly what my recovery will look like but they are estimating that I will need to remain in the hospital from 3 to 7 days following the procedure. Following that I will be home recovering for another week to two weeks with limited mobility and then it will be another four to six weeks before things are back to normal.

To be frank, while the idea of additional major surgery terrifies me, I know I can handle it. I'm most concerned on the impact of this on my family. As we all know by now, Katie is an amazing individual who can shoulder the weight of an army but I never want her to have to go through the stress and challenges she went through before. And now that The Bug is older, there is going to be a whole new set of issues involved. Katie will be hard pressed to keep up with work, The Bug, and our home by herself for a month. Plus there is the emotional strain to consider, especially for The Bug, and if The Bug is stressed we all will be stressed. In many ways this will be hardest on her and I'm looking to you to help keep her occupied and entertained so this time can pass as quickly and as stress-free as possible for her. She will miss her Daddy terribly (and our physical play when I am home recovering) but if appropriately distracted I think she will handle it well. (As an aside, I know some of you may roll your eyes at this. Kids have/can handle much worse but I see no reason to do anything less than everything to protect her, keep her happy, and make sure that she is sheltered from this stressful event). So play-dates and babysitting are at the top of the list of things we need. Even if it is just for an hour, so Katie can go shopping, do the dishes, take a nap or so Junie can get tossed around a little by an "uncle", or even just stay distracted from Daddy so he can rest we need your help. We'll even need some babysitting while I'm home since I won't be able to pick her up for at least a month without compromising my surgery. The last thing we want is to have to go through this all a second time. Baby sitting time will be especially important while I'm in the hospital that first week so Katie can come visit. We won't be bringing The Bug to Harborview. It's just not a good place for kids and I really don't want her to see me like that.

Aside from Junie time, another thing that would be helpful is food. Healthy precooked/homemade vegetarian or poultry dishes will be a lifesaver (especially if they won't require a lot of extra dishes to do!). But feel free to be creative! Don't be afraid to pick up the phone and call.

Thank you all again, and in advance. We love you all!

Friday, November 6, 2009


Blogging is just so much more work than, say, Facebook. I've pretty much abandoned this space. But for those of you still hanging on, here is The Bug giving you the straight dope on what a ____ says.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Happy Birthday

Today is my wife's birthday.

She is the love of my life. We met more than 14 years ago and have had plenty of ups and downs but there is a strength and permanence in our relationship that is more substantial than any I ever known. My love for her has only grown with time. I would move mountains for her and she is quite literally the reason I am alive today. On top of that she has given me the greatest gift in the world: fatherhood, a role I relish and has redefined my entire sense of self. I only hope that I can make her as happy as she makes me.

I love you Katie, happy birthday.

Photo taken by Katie - nap time, June 26, 2008.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Big Bug's Birthday Bash

Now a break from our flashback series.

The Bug celebrated her first birthday last week. It was a lot of fun!

There was singing and cake (please excuse my tone-deaf singing close to the mic):

And presents:

We saved a few for quieter moments too:

Many of The Bug's friends were there:

We had an awesome ladybug theme going on:

The Bug made sure it wasn't all cake. There were salads and BBQ too!

And beer for the big kids:

See you next year!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

June 16th-19th, 2008

We welcome some more visitors, sleep whenever we can, get to know some of her silly faces/diaper discharges, hand out the home-brew, and start to really settle in to this whole parenthood thing. These were really happy days.

Monday, June 15, 2009

June 15th, 2008

I kinda like this whole flashback idea. I think I'm going to make it a series.

June 15th, 2008 we introduced her to some of our friends, Katie finally slept, and we took The Bug home.

She settled in nicely.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Day Everything Changed

June 14, 2008

I find myself looking back a lot these days. A lot has changed over the past year. But then again, a year ago today EVERYTHING changed.
I don't think Katie cried through all her pain and everything. I, on the other hand, cried like a little girl but what else is new. I changed my first diaper. After three days of labor, Katie finally got a little rest. And a little drink. What? We had a lot to celebrate! I found a new capacity to comfort. And Katie finally got to meet the little person she had grown to know so intimately yet never actually seen. She had a lot to be proud of. And so did I. We finally had our little girl and we were a family now. I fell in love with her immediately. We all fell in love with her immediately.
Juniper Rose Detrano, happy birthday.