Sunday, December 14, 2008


No. Not that crash.

After vowing to update more often, I have encountered another set back. Our computer seems to have died. We have a back up machine that will let us check our email and Perez Hilton and stuff but it simply can't handle the photos and video. It is too bad too. I took some video tonight of Junie eating her first solid food that will make you plotz.

Anyway. I guess 2008 is still teaching us to be patient. (Isn't this freaking year over yet??!!!)

Happy half-birthday, Junie. We love you.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Her voice

This the first of what will probably be a series based on the amazing variety of sounds that come out of Junebug's mouth.

I call this one The Screamer.

Monday, November 10, 2008


Wow!! I am amazed that there are still people out there to check in with Don't Eat the Baby!

Of course it is much harder these days to find the time and energy to post, but I promise, if you keep coming here and sending those wonderful messages than I'll keep coming back to post.

And now, Halloween!

Monday, October 13, 2008


As most of you already know, in July, approximately one month after Junie's birth, I was hit by an SUV while driving my scooter to work. Although my injuries were severe, even life threatening, I survived. I will never forget lying in the middle of the street writhing in agony and thinking to myself over and over again, "I can't die. I have to be there for my wife and baby."

These days my recovery is going well. Some days are better than others. It will take a long time before things get any close to back to normal again. But THIS is why I am still alive.

Over the past three months she has gotten bigger and I have gotten a little smaller but I am getting strong enough to hold her again and her laugh reminds me why I am still here.

Thank you all for you support and thoughts through this horrible time.

Monday, July 14, 2008

The Claw!!!

Finally, a way around those pesky child labor laws. - Watch more free videos

Friday, July 11, 2008

Bring the Baby to Work Day

This was my first week back in the office full-time. Since I was there when I really wanted to be with June Bug, Mama was kind enough to bring her by for a visit. This was a great chance for me to show off my awesome genes, introduce the baby to everyone, and give Mama an opportunity and an excuse to get out of the house. Overall it went really well. Best of all we learned that my co-worker K.P. can multitask with the best of them. I know who to call for a little last minute baby sitting during the day.

Man, I can't wait for the weekend.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Sorry I haven't been posting much.
I'm back at work these days and there just aren't enough hours in the day.

Earlier this week I tried a new method of soothing Juniper. I figure she likes the loud white noise but it was starting to drive me crazy. So I hooked her up to the headphones. It worked pretty well for a while. I don't think it will work in every case. I am totally paranoid about turning the volume up though. I worry about those poor little ears. Don't want to make the little girl deaf before she even makes it to her first Ween show.

Monday, July 7, 2008


funny pictures
more cat pictures


I have been totally remiss in posting. I promise I will try to find more time to update. Now that I am back to work I hope that life will begin finding more of a routine.

In the mean time, here are the results from the big baby pool! (Click the image to enlarge.)
The winner will receive three 8"x10" June Bug photos of their choice or a complete 4"x6" set of the Don't Eat the Baby photos! Runner up will get a consolation prize to feed their gambling habit.

Monday, June 30, 2008


Mama's mom has been visiting for about the past week. She has been a huge help and great to have around. Thank god for Grandmas!!!

We sure will miss her when sh's gone!!!

Saturday, June 28, 2008

14 Days

Junie is two weeks old today!
They grow up so fast...

We ran Junie's birthday through a free automatic natal chart generator the other day. I don't know anything about this kind of stuff but this is what it spit out.
It interpreted it this way:


These newborns will be extremely hard workers, especially if they get to do their own thing. These little ones will be creative and will need to work in professions that are unusual. They will find work boring if they are not able to follow the direction of their choice. These newborns will be their own worst enemies if they allow their escapist tendencies to stand in the way of attaining their goals.

Like their symbol the Fish, these little ones will be able to swim both ways. At times they will be in a financial mess due to careless and overly generous tendencies, and at other times they will be so thrifty that they will appear miserly. In general, these babies will have good ideas about money management but they will have trouble applying them. But don't worry: These little ones will also have the sort of luck that helps them to land on their feet.

These babies will fit into any occupation, but because of their ability to help others, they will be best suited to humane or spiritual professions. These little ones will do well in the arts and entertainment, in marine biology, or any unique position.


These newborns will be emotional, sensitive and domestic. These little ones will have highly developed protective and defensive instincts. They will fear ridicule; however, they will hide their shyness and emotional vulnerability. These little tykes will be complex individuals with mood swings that directly fluctuate in accordance with the Moon's position. These newborns will be very diplomatic, and their memory is acute. They will be refined, and will seldom joke about themselves or about others. They will master the art of passive resistance and this can make them difficult to approach.

These newborns will deal with others in a warm, attentive and caring way. They will tend to be overprotective, clinging and melancholy if others don't do as they wish. These little ones will be exceptionally receptive to those they care about and distant towards those they don't know well.

These little ones will dislike competition, but when faced with it they will be relentless and thorough in their approach. These little tykes will prefer intellectual competition to physical competition.


These newborns will want their partners to be a loyal friends, but they will never accept their criticism. They will tend to attract weak partners. These little ones will not be easy to figure out, and they will have a tendency to turn on and off without warning.

These little ones will want to keep busy and they will take life seriously. They will also take very good care of themselves. They will dress with taste. They will be neat, clean, and somewhat formal.


These newborns will add small but important touches of detail to their home. It will be of extreme importance that they have an immaculate environment. These little ones' furniture will have to be practical and of good quality. They won't need a lot of space, because the larger the space, the harder it will be to keep it up to their standards of cleanliness. These little ones will be unlikely to invite many people to visit, as their home will be their private haven -- the place where they can be alone and focus on their concerns.

These little ones will do whatever is necessary to take care of family responsibilities, but they won't make affectionate displays. They will strive to be the best that can, and they will expect the same efforts to be made by those they love. It will not be easy for others to live up to their expectations.

Anybody out there know anything about this kind of stuff? Does this ring true or would you interpret it differently? What does the chart actually mean?

Rust Never Sleeps

Junie doesn't like sleeping. It is about 10am right now and I have absolutely no idea how much sleep we got last night. I know that at one point she got about an hour and a half and the only reason I can nail that down is because when we finally got her to sleep we set the sleep timer on her white noise. Sure enough, an hour and a half later, when it shut itself off she woke up. I think that was at about 2am. Since then it has been maybe a half an hour here or 15 minutes there. We are trying all of the 5s techniques and nothing seems to give us those golden 3 or 4 hours at a stretch. I finally got her to some kind of sleep state about 20 minutes ago but stuffing her in Mama's new Moby wrap and walking around with her womb sounds bear - turned up to deafening levels - crushed up against her head. I can't lay down but I can sit and rock.

Damn it. She is crying again. Off I go to pace in the backyard.

Monday, June 23, 2008


Mama (I can't really call her Preggers any more now can I, so Mama will have to do for now) and I pulled off another day. The inconsolable crying the past few evenings is beginning to look like a pattern. I am reading The Happiest Baby on the Block searching for answers and tools. I am only a few pages in and it already seems invaluable. It talks about the 5 S's of calming:
  1. Swaddling
  2. Shushing
  3. Swinging
  4. Side/Stomach laying
  5. Sucking
So far they have proved to be miracle cures for fussy, inconsolable baby.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Over Stimulation

I fear last night we over stimulated the baby. Around tenish, after her normal feed, burp, change, she was crying spasticly and generally inconsolable. We couldn't figure out what was going on. Was she hungry? She just ate. Is she gassy? She is always gassy but it doesn't sound like this. None of the usual tricks worked. Finally she quieted down and we got her to bed. It was exhausting. We should have slept then. People keep telling us to sleep when the baby sleeps. But Mama wanted to feel like normal again so we plugged in a movie and had some dinner that was delivered by a very generous neighbor. By the time we got to bed, it was midnight and she had been asleep for about 2 hours. Sure enough, an hour later she was up again. It took us about 3 hours to feed her, burp her, change her, repeat. She finally fell back asleep around 4:00am. The good news is she tuckered herself out in the process and was asleep for nearly six hours! Crazy! I woke up at about 9:45am hearing her gently crying and not wanting her to get out of control, I got up too. Mama was dead to the world for another 20 minutes while I changed JR and talked to her. Finally though she had had enough of me and demanded the boob with a raucous yell that roused Mama from her deep sleep. The good news is that Mama and baby have totally gotten the hang of breastfeeding and so breakfast came quick and easy.

Today we are worrying less about keeping Junebug stimulated during the day and trying to actively correct her nocturnal cycles. We aren't going out of the way to shield her. We are talking in normal conversational tones and taking her outside to enjoy some of this beautiful day. But when she is tired we help her relax to sleep. We'll just have to see what excitement tonight brings us!

And by the way, yes, Mama and Junie are both napping as I write this.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Settling in

Junebug is settling in nicely these days and life is sorting out its new rhythms. We are beginning to understand more clearly her sleep cycles and are beginning to take small steps to actively encourage her to shift from a nocturnal schedule to being more active in the day time. For two days in a row we have had wonderful family mornings where we all wake up gradually and spend some active and alert time together in the bed. Jupe is active and alert and wonderfully cute in these moments! (Although in truth, she is always actively cute!)

Even the cats are coming to accept her .

We have been getting a ton of wonderful responses to our email announcements of Junie's arrival. I want to thank you all again. Your support and blessings have really made us feel loved and cherished. It is so wonderful to know that Juniper has so many adoring fans and loved ones! For those of you that many be new, welcome to Don't Eat The Baby! Don't be shy about comments or letting me know what you want to see more or less of. This blog started about me but over the past few weeks I has really transitioned into being about Junebug, Junebug and you all. So please, interact. Join the fun. And come back often!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Nap time is blog time

Unshaven, unshowered, unslept. Unconcerned.
Nap time is just about the only time for blogging.

Went to the pediatrician today. Jupe is packing away the boob juice at this point and is gaining weight and tearing through diapers. Healthy, happy baby.

Figuring out some tricks. She loves a vigorous rocking or, even better, a swing. Water calms her like almost nothing else. The dishwasher, shower, or a rain sounds CD can get her to quiet down no matter how tired and fussy she is.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


My family is full of night owls and it appears that Jupe is no exception. We are quickly discovering that she prefers to spend her nights drinking and fussing and her days asleep. Sounds like me in college.

Here are a couple of nap-time pix.

Even the cats take those moment of quiet to squeeze in a nap on the bed with us!


Preggers and Jupe are sleeping right now. The cats are fed and I am eating leftovers that Pregger's sister left in our fridge from when she went out to get breakfast at 6:30am on Saturday.

I can't even begin to find words to describe what has happened in the last three days. The ups. The downs. The sheer freaked out bliss.

Maybe this is worth a few thousand.

These were taken on Saturday and Sunday. Sorry about the delay. Many more to follow.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Juniper Rose Detrano

6/14/08, 6:00AM exactly
8lb 4oz, 20" of pure stubbornness.
More pictures and details coming soon.

Friday, June 13, 2008


Having very long early/latent labor. Preggers OK though
Sent home from hosp @7AM after all nite back labor. Totally demoralized.
Got a little sleep thanks to a Morphine shot. Now we try again.
Dialate! Turn, Baby!
Preggers is trying The Belly Lift to see if we can make some progress.

Thursday, June 12, 2008


Contractions are coming closer and stronger now. In fact, they have been coming all night. They seem to be pretty consistent at about 10 minutes apart right now. It is still early but I have to wonder, is today the day? I sure hope so. I really hope it happens today and that things start progressing soon. I am worried about a long labor. Worried about staying up all night and fighting through the pain. I know it will be easier for her if she can deal with the worst of it when she is well rested and not at 4AM.

Preggers is in the shower right now but in a few minutes we will head down to the beach to walk in the sand. Hopefully the rhythm of the waves, the activity, and nature will coax things along.

The sun is out out for the first time in weeks. I think that is a good sign.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Today's Appointment

Today we went to the midwife's office for a post-due-date check up.

Here is where "we" are at.
  • 1.5cm dilated
  • 75%+ effaced
  • cervix is "very ripe, very thin"
  • baby's head is at -1 position
  • heart rate is still strong and there is plenty of fluid in there, so the baby is safe

  • In short, we are ready, very ready. Preggers has been feeling contractions for days now but they just aren't progressing and labor hasn't started.

    In order to get things moving, the midwife stripped Pregger's membranes. This is where the the midwife runs her finger along the inside of the cervix, separating the membranes of the uterine sack from the cervix. Not fun. Pregger's wasn't a fan of this and was very uncomfortable. It was a real education for me to see her in pain and get a feeling for what my reaction would be. No matter how I prepare myself I know it will be hard to see her in pain.

    But at this point that baby just needs to come out!!!

    The midwife also talked to us today about where we go from here. We need to be thinking about the possibility that labor may need to be induced. This can be a little discouraging. I know that Preggers would really prefer for labor to start on its own. So we are doing everything we can to get this rolling - teas, walks, spicy food, etc.

    Like 'lil Bear said, "Come out, Baby! Come out!"

    Tuesday, June 10, 2008


    MISSINGLast seen refueling at a bar in near Ballard AVE. Believed lost. If you see this stork or believe you know where he is, please call the expecting parents. They are getting antsy.

    Sunday, June 8, 2008

    Still No Baby


    Getting anxious and impatient. And uncomfortable.

    Friday, June 6, 2008


    Another photo from our awesome set. Something to keep you going while you wait for that text message!

    Thursday, June 5, 2008

    Wise Cat sez

    more cat pictures

    Due Date

    Today is the due date.

    Looks like a couple of people jumped the gun, date-wise, in the pool.

    "Monkey Ankles" Allen, Boy, 6/5, 12:00 PM, 8lb 4oz
    Melissa, Boy, 6/4, 6:16 AM, 9lb 8oz (OMG!!!)
    Planet Boy, 6/4, 9:54 PM, 8lb 2oz
    ABG, Girl, 5/27, 6:06 AM, 7lbs 1oz
    Max, Girl, 5/21, 9:30 AM, 6lb 4oz
    Brand New Dad, Boy, 5/20, 4:20 PM, 8lb 8oz

    But don't fret you may still win through our slightly complicated points system!

    Tuesday, June 3, 2008


    The most beautiful woman in the world.

    Last Sunday our friend Michelle came by and took some photos. (Yes, I used her real name. She deserves the credit.) Today she sent us a sample. They are wonderful. Thanks Michelle.

    Monday, June 2, 2008

    Weekend update

    First the real news - no baby yet.

    Overall this was a really good weekend. Preggers and I have really been bonding lately over the impending babytude as well as various family issues (both constructive and complex).

    This weekend we went over Grandpa Max's house for dinner with him and M.. It was a hoot and we had a great time talking and eating, drinking (no, not Preggers, I drank for the three of us) and doing what families do.

    Saturday Preggers went out with a couple of her girlfriends in the afternoon. They got pedicures and went to see Sex and The City. From her reports they had a good time although the lady who gave her the pedicure wasn't very versed in the types of questions you ask a 9 month pregnant woman. (Hint - "how much weight have you gained" shouldn't be on that list). And the movie, while cheesy, was fun.

    While she was doing that, I found myself doing a little babysitting. Me and Vic, Planet, and Esquire looked after the girls while the ladies were out doing their thing. It was fun. We knocked back a couple of Harvey Wallbangers, played some Frisbee, and chilled out while the girls took a nap.
    After nap time we shared some Shirley Wallbangers (oj +ice! Yum!) and entertained the girls while we got dinner ready. Planet gave some art lessons to 'Rina -
    while Vic just cuddled with lil'Bear.

    For dinner we grilled up some awesome northwest seafood, including this beautiful piece of wild king salmon:

    The girls couldn't get enough of that fish! Especially lil'Bear. I think she ate more than I did!
    When the ladies showed up after their evening on the town, they were met by two little girls who were totally into Pregger's belly! She had to explain to them that the baby was in there but they couldn't see it until it came out. 'Rina, knowing where babies come from tried to look up Pregger's skirt but lil'Bear just yelled "Come out Baby, come out!"
    I couldn't agree more. Come out baby! Come out!

    Sunday, June 1, 2008


    There has been a little confusion surrounding the text service I will be using to let people know about the baby.

    I think the key to making this work is to use both your area code and the #1 when entering your phone number.

    Hope that helps.

    If you continue to have an issue feel free to email me or leave a message in the comments for me!

    Wednesday, May 28, 2008

    Be the first to know!

    Do you want to the first to know when we are on our way to the hospital?
    Do you want to be first to know all the gory details about the little one when he/she arrives?

    Of course you do!

    Well, if you have a cell phone and don't mind getting the information via text message then sign up to the Don't Eat The Baby text message list in the widget bellow. (It will also live permanently in column to the left).

    Please sign up.
    It is going to be really hard for me to communicate with each one of you individually. This tool will allow me to be in contact with all of you without having to make a million calls. Thanks. BND

    Pregnancy Perks

    This last week we learned of all the perks associated with having a nine months pregnant lady around with you. Last Tuesday was my birthday so on Thursday night Preggers, Food and Blode and I went out to see a little music. The Bad Plus to be exact. Preggers had called the venue and told them that she was highly pregnant and they assured her that they would have a chair available for her. Well we got there and for a moment it looked pretty grim. We asked the guy at the door and he said he didn't know anything about that. We asked the girl behind the bar and she just looked up and said "there are plenty of chairs out there". Yeah, that may be true but by this point we were half way through the opening act and they were all filled with asses. Finally the guy from the door came back and told us to follow him. He grabbed a folding chair and lead us around, backstage to the far corner of the stage right at the feet of the drummer. The best seat in the house in my opinion! So cool!
    Again, stole this from Flickr. Meet David King, drummer extraordinaire for The Bad Plus. (Yes, he is in fact playing his drums with a talking ET doll.) We were about this close.

    Here is a sample of their music. The Bad Plus are known for their kooky covers.

    But wait, that's not all! On Saturday, we went to see Cirque du Soleil's Cortico. Of course it was an amazing show. Preggers totally geeked out on the physical abilities of the performers and tried to imagine them all doing pilates. Anyway, Cirque is located in the middle of a huge park outside of town here and there is a massive parking lot way far away that they cram everybody into. But not us! As we were rolling in an attendant looked in the window and saw Preggers in the car looking all huge and told us to put on our blinkers and tell the next attendant we were "special needs". We were escorted to a special lot steps away from the big tent and even closer than the Handycapable parking spots!! Good thing too. I think Preggers may have tinkled on her shoes if she had to do that long walk after 30 minutes in the car!

    Her is a clip of Cirque du Soleil's Cortico.

    Saturday, May 24, 2008

    Hippy Baby

    I know that I have been remiss in posting lately. Sorry. But there is just too much to do. And today, after running errands and doing chores, the weather was just too nice to sit inside and blog. Instead Preggers and I went down and had lunch on the deck at Ray's. Now that is some serious living! Amazing views, fresh seafood, cold beer (beer for me, spritzer for Preggers), and lots and lots of sun! Ah sun! It's like a drug.

    I stole this shot off Flickr just to give you a taste of the view. Although we were there in late afternoon, not sunset, but you can get the gist.Tonight Preggers and I are off to see Cirque du Soleil and continue our theme of doing "adult things" until the baby comes. In the mean time, I will leave you with some awesome examples of the fine work the ladies did last weekend.

    Yes, this baby will be fully hippified.